Category Archives: non-verbal autism

My Poetry Recital

So let me tell you how my poetry recital went. Some of you may recall reading that I had to recite a poem out loud in my English class to be graded on flair, poise, memory, etc. It’s a joke in that I have mostly unintelligible speech. I have the flair of a tree stump. No attitude of drama. I can tell you it was silly.
My mom suggested I use my dynawrite in class to recite the poem. Then after class, one on one, I could spell it for the teacher on my letter board to show I memorized it. I thought that was a logical and fair accommodation.

My teacher said no. I needed to go in front of the class and spell the whole damn thing. So I tried. Stupid of me. I should have sat it out, to just get a “fail” for my speech impairment. I spelled several lines. I like the poem by Robert Frost. Here it is.
Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I got to line three and couldn’t take the stress of the class staring at me. I felt so weird, so stuck, so disrespected by this teacher. It was overflow. I did what I hate time after time in overflow, which is really rare, but it happens. I can’t control myself. I’m ashamed to say that I pulled my aide’s hair in front of the entire class of about forty or so kids.

I feel wretched and remorseful. On the other hand, if my teacher had been sensitive to my disability, none of this would have happened. I learned an important lesson to say no if I can’t do something- so maybe something happened in spite of my miserable performance that will help me in life.

To My New Readers

Since my speech was on the Autism Speaks webpage I have been receiving so many kind words. It is amazing to hear them. My dream is to release non-verbal people from a life of solitude and being misunderstood. I will write about this when my schedule allows. During the week I have homework after school so please be patient with me.
I am glad you are reading my ideas. I hope you will share them with autistic people too. I would have been helped to know escape was possible when I was younger.
Best wishes,
Ido

Shouting from the Mountain Tops at Walk Now

If you are going to be in the Southern California area this Saturday, I will be giving a speech at  Walk Now for Autism Speaks http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=442586 around ten in the morning. I will go up with the Miracle Project Fly singers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta_0WKhV-7w and they will sing and I will share my ideas.
I am so honored to be included. It is a huge event. So many autism professionals, families, and people. I want the point of view of non-verbal people heard loudly. From the mountain tops and over the oceans I want people to know that not speaking is not the same as not thinking; that poor fine motor is not the same as not thinking; that impulsive actions are different than not understanding right from wrong; that poor facial affect is not the same as having no feelings; that boring people to death is denying them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
In my silent years I thought about what I would say to an audience like this if I had the chance. I dreamed of Moses in my mind saying, “Let my people go!” You all know I am a thinker on Moses as I have shown in several essays. It was a thought I had in my internal prison imagining I could be freed by someone. I dreamed of talking, of course.
But I am not free because I talk. I don’t talk. I am free because I can express my ideas in pointing to letters, in typing, in my blog and in my speeches. 
I am not lonely now.