I receive many letters from people who are not parents of kids with autism but they are relatives or friends of someone who has autism. They have read my book and see the child has the potential to understand, but they cannot influence the parents to change the way they interact with the child or teach communication. It is painful to read these letters because I know the kid is trying, they are trying, and the parents aren’t ready to hear the message. So they ask me how can they change things.
I wish I knew. The parents or teachers must be open to new ideas. If they’re not, what can one do who has no guardianship? You can treat the child differently yourself, talk to him normally, perhaps even see if the parents will let you introduce a letter board just for practice, but beyond the steps people have told me, it cannot be forced.
I guess one argument to the parents could be, what do you have to lose by trying? Like I’ve written in the past, how is it harmful to read someone an age appropriate book or speak in normal speech tones? This is modeling for people who have never seen their child treated like that.
I know several parents personally who were not open to teaching their kids how to type in the past because they couldn’t see their potential, but after many other kids they knew began typing they started to become more open. They had lots of conversations with other parents and gradually it helped them.
I don’t blame them. They have had lots of professional opinion to overcome as well as confused and conflicted emotions. I guess it’s not always immediate, but you are planting seeds. Hopefully one day they will germinate.