Monthly Archives: April 2011

More Thoughts on Good and Evil

I was thinking about the response to my essay about good and evil and I wanted to comment on it. 
Is there a difference between our individual choices and mob choices? In a mob there are many individuals. I think to say mobs have a different responsibility is like denying each individual in the mob a personal choice in how to act.
The struggle internally is our life work. How do we respond in morally challenging situations? The Germans have reminded themselves that they blew it badly. It is a reflection that is necessary, and many people don’t do it. On the other hand, it is no guarantee that they will behave morally in the future. I think it is a lot easier to be moral when there is no test.
Really, I believe that certain basic human values must always apply. We must determine and decide each moment how we will behave. The mob of the Third Reich gave otherwise decent people the opportunity to stop being decent with society’s approval. I think each soul is judged for what they do. The person who watches evil passively is judged for his inaction.
It is a complicated issue. The most complicated, I think. The role of values and respect for human life is a tool to help in morally troubling times.
Thanks for a thought provoking comment.

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High School and Beyond

I was thinking how sorry I am to leave my middle school for high school. Well, not sorry exactly. I’m nervous and excited. I will be the pioneering non-verbal autistic person in regular education in high school. In middle school I wasn’t the only autistic kid. I was the only one in my classes though. It’s a long journey from my rudimentary autism class in elementary school to regular education in high school. It’s really weird in a way because I am so stuck in my silence, however I am not trapped in it like I was. I can communicate in my typing/pointing techniques and I am out in the world because I can express my ideas.

In high school I will have to really work hard on self control, on homework, on sitting all day, on proving myself once again. Now it is becoming easier. I’m nervous, not stressed to my roof. I think I can do it, and get my diploma, and even go to college. This is my goal and I hope it will help other autistic people on their journeys too.

THE Greatest Disabled Hero (In My Opinion)

Moses was speech impaired. Did you know that? I know Charlton Heston had no problem speaking, but religious scholars say that Moses had a burn on his tongue and was a stutterer and not clear in speaking. Despite this he was picked by God to liberate the Hebrew slaves from bondage in Egypt. 
Not bad.

Sensory and Emotionally Overwhelmed, and Today’s Speech

Today I gave a speech before about 100 women. I was nervous. I always am, even though I am used to giving speeches. I spoke about issues that are important to me; my personal mission of changing the way non-verbal autism is understood, how I want to be talked to (normally), how the community needs to be more accepting, and many other themes.
It was well received. It was the overwhelming aftermath I want to discuss. So many lovely, caring women rushed to me, hugging and kissing me. It was too much and I was overwhelmed. How can I explain it and not sound whiny?
My system is overly sensitive. Really, I am struggling all the time to be in control of myself. In emotional moments it is harder. Giving a speech, women who weep at my speech, teens who sob in my arms after my speech, so many questions people bombard me with in an instant… I wrote in the past about how I overflow. So, I did. I got aggressive in an instant, in front of my “admirers” (ha-ha). I grabbed my mom and pulled her hair.
I love my mom and I don’t have any desire to hurt her. I didn’t, but she was livid all the same. I need to get better self-control. My friend, Elaine Hall, suggested that my mom should whisk me out after future speeches before the crowd gets up. Yes! I am pretty sure I need that. It’s necessary if I’m going to continue doing speeches in person. I think seeing me in person helps people to believe my message.
If you have an autistic kid,  this may help you understand the overflow you see. I do my best, but I am not normal neurologically. I believe it will improve, but meanwhile I have decided that I’m outta there the moment the speech is done. If there are questions, please write to facebook or my blog.
The lovely women are doting and I am fleeing. I greatly appreciate their good wishes more than they can know, but I need to go.
Now I need to go for a jog to run off my steam. Til next time.