To Flee or Not to Flee

I love hiking in nature, yet I complain often while I do it. I mean, I complain in my non-talking style. For at least a mile I keep saying, “Go home”, yet I love the trails, the pretty scenery, the trees, the exercise, the pace, and the joy of my dogs. It is weird. I am really happy to be there but if we turned around I would go. Once I’m in a groove, I’m better. I know a guy who mostly leaves places right after arriving. He is overwhelmed and wants to flee. In autism the urge to flee is common. I think many people feel this way, like, “Get me out of here NOW!!”, but in autism we have a harder time ignoring the pressure of the moment. I think many people with autism feel overwhelmed and may try to escape. This is like a panic attack, in my opinion. If I feel relaxed I get no urge to flee. I know many autistic people get overwhelmed in places that are overly stimulating. In hiking it is different because I truly enjoy it. It is almost like a tic or something when I say “go home”, but I am glad my parents insist I walk the entire loop. It is lovely being ignored- ha ha- because my mouth isn’t speaking what I truly want.