Category Archives: autism education

Paving the Path by guest blogger, Dillan Barmache

Dillan and Ido

Dillan and Ido

Ido has been a figure of importance for those of us on a journey to find our voices. I have known him a long time, and he has given me advice, hope and footsteps to follow in my time as a communicator. I don’t know if I would have had the same success now that I have achieved in my struggle against silence without him to forge a path before us. I would like to think I could have, and I wonder how much it must have been so frightening to make those paths without his own guide ahead. Ido gave me a lot when he had so many of his own trials to face. We all have to fight so hard to beat autism, a school system that doesn’t know what to do with us, and expert behaviorists who denounce our accomplishments as a hoax. Ido still found it in himself to take the time to help me in this struggle, and he even wrote to me in his book. I hope a younger version of me can look at my story and I can do for him what Ido has done for me.

The process of bringing true education to people with autism is as complex as the condition itself. In my school, Ido was first down that road, and I was able to look at his experience and know the challenges ahead and what mistakes to avoid. And further down the road, the next student will be able to refine the process. We keep building and learning how to learn. There will never be a perfect way, and that is good. Always adapting is the perfect way, and Ido began that all in my school. It is most important to be open to knowing that there are undiscovered modes of learning. Already many teachers are fixed in their ways and unwilling to admit to a need for change. Our presence in the classroom will show them an example they cannot ignore. I am grateful to Ido for being the first of hopefully many.

Living in the Past

I hear from many people from different countries regarding autism. As bad as I feel about our understanding of autism here in the US and how hard it remains for so many people, I now understand how much worse it is in other countries. My life has been liberated by communication. I have many challenges, but also opportunities. Most significantly, my school district allowed me to be educated in regular classes once I proved my intelligence by typing on a letter board. Now my improved skills in handwriting and typing on an iPad are making my life easier still, but I have a long way to go.

Many times I feel down and I realize how hard it is to overcome my body, but I also know I am improving and I practice motor issues daily to work on my mind body connection. But the letters I receive  tell me how it is in other countries where autism treatment is stuck in the 1950s where belief in “refrigerator mothers” causing autism and treatment by psychotherapy still rule. This is in developed countries, mind you.

How do they treat polio? Do they still use iron lungs or do they immunize? It’s inhumane. If you live in France, or other countries treating autism this way or in other outmoded ways, please share your experiences with me.

But I also know that some countries are stuck even further in the past, in the 19th century, Victorian asylum mode. I need to help change things. How do you think we can do it?

Thoughts on a Tough Senior Year

I graduated high school on June 5 with a diploma. My GPA was the fourth highest in my grade. I did it despite being really autistic. I did it though I get tense and even aggressive sometimes. I did it though I can’t speak verbally and communicate by iPad or letter board.

I can’t stop being autistic. It is with me all the time. I’m wired in a peculiar neurological way. Despite this, I thrived, taking AP and Honors classes and doing my work along with my normal peers. The school was great and worked like a team. My teachers were supportive and respectful and I am grateful.

My last year suffered because of a crisis in 1:1 support. This nearly turned me into another person, I was so stressed and overwhelmed by the situation. But I can smile again and I will put it behind me and move on.

Because autism makes us so reliant on our 1:1 support, when it’s strong we can flourish. If it’s not, we can collapse. Now that I have graduated, I will have more power to choose who helps me so I need never be trapped again with a bad match and bad leadership.

Thanks to all my teachers, the school administrators, Adrienne and Anna.

ido_graduation_post

Having More Say in Our Lives

My hope is that one day autistic people will be taught to communicate as young as possible. It certainly would be interesting to see how life would be if instead of drills and remedial lessons kids got lessons in age appropriate lessons, typing for communication and exercise specifically to awaken the mind/body connection. In my opinion, it is likely that the severe autism symptoms might be lessened because the urge to escape a frustrating reality will be less intense. One day I hope to put my ideas into a program for other people with autism. It will be the world’s first program for people with autism run by a person with autism.

Isn’t that pathetic?

How many autism organizations have people with autism consulting them or on their boards? If inclusion and diversity are important, why do so many autism experts fail to consult people who have autism? If I had an organization for blind people, I think consulting with people who are blind would be valuable. If I had an organization for people in wheelchairs, I think understanding their experiences would make treatment better suited to real needs. Must those of us with neurological issues be isolated from our own treatment options? My hope is to change this discriminatory practice.

Out of the Closet

 

Every day I meet new communicators. Not babies, but kids in elementary school, teens and young adults. Their lives had been limited in one way communication for way too many years. They listened but they had no way to answer. In any case, they heard people. Many of them heard their parents moan and groan and say comments like, “I don’t know how much intelligence is there. I don’t think he understands much.” They listened to their teachers say things like, “He isn’t aware of right from wrong. He isn’t aware of his surroundings. He is oppositional today.” They listened to ABA specialists tell them, “No, try again,” “No, try again,” “No, try again,” and “High five. Good job.” They heard a world that thought they were dumb. But the world in this case was wrong.

It isn’t a lack of intelligence to be able to think but to not be able to get your body to show it. It is being trapped. If I put your hands into baseball mitts and your tongue was trapped in gooey sludge and couldn’t move right and I bombarded you with questions, I think you would agree you would have a hard time showing that you had an intact mind, especially if those baseball mitt hands moved differently to your thoughts and wishes sometimes, and everyone assumed that people with sludge tongues and baseball mitt hands were intellectually low.

I know the way to escape this isolation is not to tell sludge tongues and baseball mitt hands to move in ways they can’t. It is to teach those hands to point to letters, to type with one finger and to communicate. There is now a steady tide of people, once thought to be dumb, once thought to need baby lessons and baby talk who are mastering communication on letter board and typing. And voila! Not dumb!

More than anything they find relief being recognized as intelligent. And some find even more; a mission, friendship, a life of meaning. But none will go back into the closet of silence.

I wonder if you are a parent, teacher or professional and you have seen a “dumb” kid prove himself smart, how do you react with other kids? How long should they wait for you?

Opening of my Remarks at CSUN Department of Special Education Commencement


It is a great honor to speak to future teachers in special education. I began my life in special education of the most restrictive sort. My early years had to be my hardest because I had no voice at all. I want to challenge you to be open to teaching those who may currently lack the ability to show their intelligence, but who still deserve the opportunity to learn.
  It is hard to be a teacher of kids who don’t communicate. The kids don’t have writing, or gestures, or speech, or facial expressions, but that doesn’t mean they can’t think. Lack of communication isn’t only a sign of cognitive delay.
I’ll give you an idea of my early life in my low, remedial autism class. My teacher was warm, but there was no instruction of any kind beyond the weather, 1+1, and ABC. Forever. I think it is pretty boring, don’t you? It is worse when people treat you like you’re not intelligent. Baby talk and high fives and “good jobs” instead of normal communication.
I think the idea that all non-verbal people with autism have receptive language processing delay is not accurate. I don’t have receptive language issues but I sat in this classroom for years, unable to show my true capacity.
It is important to not be overly confident or certain when you deal with people who can’t communicate. In fact, it is essential to have an open-mind, because more kids than you imagine are like me. How people escape this prison varies, but we must have the opportunity.
I feel that you, who are embarking on new careers in special education, need to know that a kid like me will be in your class – that is, a kid like me before letter board or iPad – who just can’t get his ideas out.  To be a great teacher you can’t be his prison guard. To be a great teacher you must find intelligence and give the hope of freedom in communication. To be a great teacher you must give a real education to those kids who may look stupid in the eyes of many, but who think, and feel, and pray every day for the chance to show who they are inside.

Challenge

Every day of my life I face a kind of moral dilemma. My autism makes self control very difficult. It takes more effort to sit still in class than to do the intellectual work. I have big personal goals for myself. I prefer to have a full life than a hidden, bored one in some remedial class like most other severely autistic people. It is my mission to help them get an education too. None of this is a dilemma. I am clear on my goals, but I struggle morally with my inner forces. My body is programmed in a different way than typical people. It has internal orders that differ from my mind’s intentions. My struggle to control myself is to be kind to others, thoughtful of the space of others and not disruptive in class. Each day I remind myself to do this because it is the right thing to do in spite of how hard it is to accomplish.

My Book

When I was twelve I did a thing very important to me. I began writing about autism. Nearly every day when I came home from school I wrote. It was like a fire in me. I felt so lost in a way because I lived a life of isolation since I was so limited in my ability to make friends. I felt really misunderstood in my dealings with professionals, and I was the only severely autistic kid in my general education classes. I wrote to help me deal with a miserably hard disability. I wrote to educate about incorrect but widely believed ideas about autism. I wrote about my weird early years in an intense home program that really missed the boat and left me terribly frustrated. I wrote about my journey to communication from total silence, and I wrote to help me accept myself. I wrote on and off for three years. My mom felt my book was really important because it exposed the inner truth about autism. It took my dad longer to adjust to the idea of me being published because I would be scrutinized by everybody and he was wary of biased reactions- something I had encountered so much in my life. After lots of delays, we will finally have a book later this spring and I won’t be alone in my message. I think at least three other books by non-verbal autistic people will be published too. It is a new trend. I am happy I will be part of it. I will keep you posted when I have more news.

Onward Upward

Well, I am starting a new high school next semester. It is good to be free of my old school and entering a new one. I feel welcome and accepted. This is a wonderful change. Why some schools are friendly and others not is a subject good to explore another day. I am hopeful now that I can enjoy high school and that I will succeed there. Hope is great because I felt hopeless in my last school that I could enjoy it, be relaxed, and feel supported. It is a good lesson because some systems can’t be fought. The system is closed and you can’t change it. The only solution is to get out and even that wasn’t easy. It is a start to my new year in 2012 that I will go to a warmer and far more welcoming school. I will need to adjust to all new routines, classes, schedule, and environment, but I’m sure I will and I’m really looking forward to it.

Starting Over

I went to check out another high school today. They had Open House. I think many of you have read about how difficult my high school has been. It started rough, in part because I had an unprepared aide who was not ready to work with a grown kid. I am tall and strong, so I am not easy like a small elementary school kid. I was also overwhelmed by the size of the school and the number of students. It was incredible how many came out of the rooms when the bell rang. Finally, it was pretty clear to me the school was worried about my early behavior when I was overwhelmed. It was unfortunate because I did great in middle school. Not perfect, but better each year.

In high school I started improving steadily too but I think my less than stellar start has affected the ability of some folks to see my improvement. Still, I get excellent grades and I try very hard to excel. Now I have my old, trusty, terrific aide, Cathy, all year (yay), and a wonderful new aide in training for next year. I was at the end of my rope a month ago. I came home from school in a sort of panic. I pleaded to find me another school because I felt unwelcome. My mom began looking and found some possibilities but I wasn’t eligible for different reasons, usually residence issues. She found one possibility I visited today but we don’t know if I can transfer mid-year. Oh wow- it had a horse and goats and sheep, but it also had friendly people and a warm and welcoming administrator. Cross your fingers for me.

I decided to overlook the fact that I feel unwelcome now in my current school. This has helped me relax and I can see I feel calmer. It also helps me mature. This challenge of my high school made me grow and get tougher but I am still eager to move on to a smaller, warmer school.