Passover 2011

Posted on April 15, 2011 | Leave a comment

It is Passover and the start of spring. The flowers are blooming in colorful ribbons and streams of life.  My yard has birds all over the shrubs. In spring, life bursts forward.
How appropriate that Passover be in the spring. On Passover, slaves burst into liberation. Life blossomed from a weary people. In a way, like the weary earth after winter. The reality is that the liberated slaves were really not ready to burst forth into freedom. They had been too limited by oppression to see the possibilities that awaited them. They were scared of the world beyond their walls. How amazing to go from a life of hardship and cruel treatment to the world of choice and hope. I mean, freedom, manna, miracles, Moses, the Ten Commandments, the Torah. It’s a burst of spring in a celestial sense, because like spring, life blossomed from this burst.

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Posted in Passover

Ode to TV Chefs

Posted on April 12, 2011 | Leave a comment

The chefs have recipes
To please every palate.
They stir and chop and bake
On television shows.
They make stew and roasts and cake
With really savory aromas.
The aromas I can imagine
In my armchair in my home.
The chefs are French, Italian, Chinese.
They teach me the love of food.
I enjoy an imaginary meal
In my most tasty mood.

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Posted in cooking shows

Speaking in Public

Posted on April 10, 2011 | 1 comment

I spoke to a group of middle school and high school students today. When I get nervous I get so restless. I pace and I devour all the snacks. Wish I could modulate my emotions better when I stand before an audience. Now I get so nervous. Especially today. I was being interviewed by the audience and I was being filmed. Now it’s like a time trial. I have to do better each time.

On a sort of silly note, I’m required  to recite a poem in my English class. It’s a state requirement apparently. I guess paralyzed students are also required to sprint in p.e. or the deaf kids must sing in choir.

I need to stand in front of the class in poised, dramatic style. Ha ha ha ha. My speech is monotone and garbled. I am pacing and nervous. It’s my worst abilities. Not my strengths. Well, we’ll see how it pans out. Ha ha.

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Posted in autism, public speaking

More Thoughts on Good and Evil

Posted on April 10, 2011 | Leave a comment

I was thinking about the response to my essay about good and evil and I wanted to comment on it. 
Is there a difference between our individual choices and mob choices? In a mob there are many individuals. I think to say mobs have a different responsibility is like denying each individual in the mob a personal choice in how to act.
The struggle internally is our life work. How do we respond in morally challenging situations? The Germans have reminded themselves that they blew it badly. It is a reflection that is necessary, and many people don’t do it. On the other hand, it is no guarantee that they will behave morally in the future. I think it is a lot easier to be moral when there is no test.
Really, I believe that certain basic human values must always apply. We must determine and decide each moment how we will behave. The mob of the Third Reich gave otherwise decent people the opportunity to stop being decent with society’s approval. I think each soul is judged for what they do. The person who watches evil passively is judged for his inaction.
It is a complicated issue. The most complicated, I think. The role of values and respect for human life is a tool to help in morally troubling times.
Thanks for a thought provoking comment.

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Posted in good and evil

You Can Also Visit Me at Facebook

Posted on April 10, 2011 | 2 comments

Hi Readers,
You can also follow my blog through facebook at idoinautismland and give me a like.
Thanks for stopping by.
Ido

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Posted in Uncategorized

High School and Beyond

Posted on April 8, 2011 | 4 comments

I was thinking how sorry I am to leave my middle school for high school. Well, not sorry exactly. I’m nervous and excited. I will be the pioneering non-verbal autistic person in regular education in high school. In middle school I wasn’t the only autistic kid. I was the only one in my classes though. It’s a long journey from my rudimentary autism class in elementary school to regular education in high school. It’s really weird in a way because I am so stuck in my silence, however I am not trapped in it like I was. I can communicate in my typing/pointing techniques and I am out in the world because I can express my ideas.

In high school I will have to really work hard on self control, on homework, on sitting all day, on proving myself once again. Now it is becoming easier. I’m nervous, not stressed to my roof. I think I can do it, and get my diploma, and even go to college. This is my goal and I hope it will help other autistic people on their journeys too.

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Posted in autism, school

THE Greatest Disabled Hero (In My Opinion)

Posted on April 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

Moses was speech impaired. Did you know that? I know Charlton Heston had no problem speaking, but religious scholars say that Moses had a burn on his tongue and was a stutterer and not clear in speaking. Despite this he was picked by God to liberate the Hebrew slaves from bondage in Egypt. 
Not bad.

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Posted in Communication, Moses

Sensory and Emotionally Overwhelmed, and Today’s Speech

Posted on April 4, 2011 | 4 comments

Today I gave a speech before about 100 women. I was nervous. I always am, even though I am used to giving speeches. I spoke about issues that are important to me; my personal mission of changing the way non-verbal autism is understood, how I want to be talked to (normally), how the community needs to be more accepting, and many other themes.
It was well received. It was the overwhelming aftermath I want to discuss. So many lovely, caring women rushed to me, hugging and kissing me. It was too much and I was overwhelmed. How can I explain it and not sound whiny?
My system is overly sensitive. Really, I am struggling all the time to be in control of myself. In emotional moments it is harder. Giving a speech, women who weep at my speech, teens who sob in my arms after my speech, so many questions people bombard me with in an instant… I wrote in the past about how I overflow. So, I did. I got aggressive in an instant, in front of my “admirers” (ha-ha). I grabbed my mom and pulled her hair.
I love my mom and I don’t have any desire to hurt her. I didn’t, but she was livid all the same. I need to get better self-control. My friend, Elaine Hall, suggested that my mom should whisk me out after future speeches before the crowd gets up. Yes! I am pretty sure I need that. It’s necessary if I’m going to continue doing speeches in person. I think seeing me in person helps people to believe my message.
If you have an autistic kid,  this may help you understand the overflow you see. I do my best, but I am not normal neurologically. I believe it will improve, but meanwhile I have decided that I’m outta there the moment the speech is done. If there are questions, please write to facebook or my blog.
The lovely women are doting and I am fleeing. I greatly appreciate their good wishes more than they can know, but I need to go.
Now I need to go for a jog to run off my steam. Til next time.
Ido

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Posted in autism, sesnory overwhelmed

Good and Evil and the Human Dilemma

Posted on March 31, 2011 | 3 comments

Well, it’s like this. Heroes of disability are inspiring me daily. I enjoy adding a new hero every day to my facebook page. These people reflect good qualities in the human spirit of determination, perseverance and hope. There are also people who live for doing kind acts. They let us know that people do good deeds out of choice because they are sure it’s right.
On the other hand, people are also capable of choosing to be horrible. I now have to face some sad truths about human nature. My world has become sadder since I started thinking about the Holocaust. I sort of knew, because it is a well known history, and it is awful to be sure. Children and old people, and anyone the Nazis hated, were abused so cruelly and really tormented physically and mentally before being slaughtered.
I think about it because I read Anne Frank’s story and I came to care about her and her family. It happened long ago, but it feels like hearing a friend got murdered. I seem to feel it personally. Some of my classmates could not care less, but I think about how people chose to commit horrible evil in the name of Nazism and attacked defenseless civilians. It’s one of many cruel acts humans have done.
We are, as humans, a mix of goodness and horribleness. It is in all of us and we are required to choose. The heroes I show are choosing goodness. The Nazis, and those like them, chose to live in hate and sadism. Now I try to make sense of it all.
I believe God gave us free will so we can choose and decide for ourselves. I am sure free will is necessary or we would be sheep in a robotic world.  Stopping evil means denying us choice and free will. It would be a dead life. 
On the other hand, evil is awful and I struggle with this concept. The innocent Franks and their horrible fate- is this the price humanity faces for freedom of choice? This is my internal struggle. Now I must work it out as best I can.

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Posted in Anne Frank, Holocasut, human nature

Disabled, or Super Able?

Posted on March 27, 2011 | 1 comment

I have been thinking about people with disabilities who succeed at high levels. For example, many of you have seen the films of Oscar Pistorius, the runner, on my facebook page. He has no legs and he is a runner of world class speed. This is what we call a paradox.
In music, we find the same situation with Evelyn Glennie. She is a great musician and she feels her music because she is deaf. Look at what Beethoven accomplished in his deaf years.
In the sciences, we have Stephen Hawking. In engineering, Temple Grandin. In athletics, Jim Abbott (another paradox- a handless pitcher), and  one-legged wrestling champ, Anthony Robles.
In other words, we have the human spirit unwilling to quit. Kind of staggering in a way because they had to fight very hard to be average. But they were not average. They were superior.
Adversity can make you determined. I know this from experience. Heaven knows, I’m a paradox too. I can’t speak and I give speeches often. Someone else reads it out loud, and I’m standing near, but I’m not quitting. In the weeks ahead I am gathering videos of the inspirational and determined, who are shattering limits, for you to see. They are my hope and my models.

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Posted in disability, Evelyn Glennie, inspiration, motivation, Oscar Pistorius, Stephen Hawking, Temple Grandin